Disciple - A Questioning Mind
All questions are emanating from a state of not knowing. If I know then there is no question of a question. All questions emanate to know who am I? The source of all questions is who am I? And this question is different in different states of a human mind.
Out of Misery: I don’t want to know who am I? Why should I know who am I?
The misery is so much that the need has not yet arisen. There is a right time for everything. The question can wait. But in reality the question is not bothered. It all depends on the questioner. One can postpone this question till eternity.
Out of Anger: Who are you to ask me to ask who am I?
The anger is so much. The mind is closed. The answer becomes a question and the question becomes an answer. The real question remains far away. The real answer remains far away. And when the anger has gone it is too late. Now, there could be frustration and repentance.
Out of imagination: We are all Gods. You are God, I am God, and everything is God.
And, therefore, there is no need to know who am I? Because, Vedas and Upanishads declare that Aham Brahmasmi (I am Brahma), Tatvamasi (You are that), So Hum (I am that), etc. And, hence, there is no need to know who am I. And I know very well who am I. This could be the imagination of the disciple to not to ask the question who am I.
And this could also be because of another imagination of the mind. The whole existence is a Maya. It is an illusion. It appears existing but it is actually not there. It is only like a dream. Therefore, there is no need to come out of sleep and ask who am I. And I can sleep and snore forever in the name of Maya and illusion.
To draw attention: Do you know who am I? I am this, and I am that. I am something. And you are just nothing.
The whole journey of life seems to be an ego trip. I am this and I am that. What are you? You are just nothing before me. I am above and you are below. I am at the top and you are yet to reach. I know, and you are learning. I am rich and you are not. I am powerful and you are not. There is no end to all this nonsense. It seems the ego is also infinite. In order to fall on its own the ego has to ripen. The ripe fruit falls on its own. It neither hurts the tree nor the fruit.
To test the other: Do you know who you are?
I mean I know who am I but just would like to know whether you know who you are. Why can’t we discus and share? What is actually going on inside one’s mind is something different. Let us see who knows better, whether you know better than me or I know better than you.“Who am I?” can never be compared because there are no two who am Is. It seems the duality is also infinite. And there can be infinite perceptions.
The real question is not a question really. It is really a question of life and death. There is no third alternative. The question is that either I know now or never. It is a question of pure intensity. It is a question of intense inquiry.
On the last day Buddha said that now it is enough. And he made a resolve. I will not get-up from this place unless I know who am I. He got-up only when he has realized.
And what is the realization? You can not know anything really. And you realize that you are a pure witness. You realize that you are a “Shuddha Chetana”. You realize that you are a pure consciousness. This is the awakening. This is that enlightenment. That is all. And what happens? It is not that Buddha gets answers to all the questions. No, the questioning mind disappears. The waves in the ocean disappear and the ocean becomes a silent ocean. The mind disappears and no-mind arises. The questioning mind disappears and the witnessing consciousness arises.
Never think that the Guru gives you all the answers. And never think that the Master gives you all the answers to all your questions. No, this will never happen. Your questioning mind disappears. It is like the peeling of an onion. What remains after all the layers are peeled out? There is nothing. This is a point of the beginning of Nirvana. This is a point of enlightenment. And this is only a beginning of the world of Nirvana. And the difference is that you now move with your inner illumination and inner tranquility. The world of Nirvana has a beginning but no end.
It is a last day of Buddha on the planet earth. All the disciples are crying and weeping. Ananda is also weeping and crying. Ananda says to Buddha, “You are a polestar of spirituality. You are a beacon of spirituality. You are a guiding light to all the disciples on their spiritual journey. What will happen to us after you have left us? Who will guide us? Who will show us the path?”.
Buddha opens the eyes and tells Ananda, “Appo Deepo Bhava”. He says that you be a light unto yourself. There is no savior. And except you nobody can save you. You are your own savior.
The Master is only a presence. He is like the presence of light. He is like a catalyst. He is not going to be there forever. The knowledge of the Vedas and Upanishads is possible only when the seeker is of a silent mind and loving heart. As long as the seeker seeks he is never going to get it. Why? Because the goal is not outside. You are the goal. The seeking is only a beginning. And unless the seeker listens, the answer to this question, who am I?, is never going to be possible. The seeker has to be a silent listener.
All the components of the existence are trying to know the answer to this question. All the constituents of the existence are asking this question. And this question is eternal. It is as old as the existence. Every electron is in the process to get enlightened. Every electron is moving to be a man. Every atom is moving to be a man. And every man is moving to be a seeker to know the answer to this question.
Out of nothingness comes the matter. The matter then moves to be a man. The man then becomes a seeker. The seeker then experiences the same nothingness. Now, the cycle is complete. This is the purpose of the whole existence. The whole existence is like a jigsaw puzzle. The whole existence is like a Zen Koan. There is no Maya. There is no illusion. The mind creates all illusions. The mind creates all perceptions. The master only helps you to get a clarity that everything is interconnected. And an open mind has a possibility of unification. There is a point of singularity and oneness. And the existential experience of this oneness is called enlightenment.